She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize