a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
