Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
