dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
