i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
