I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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