If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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