he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
