I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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