My hand turned me down
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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