She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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