i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
