Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
