Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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