His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's blow job season.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
