Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
