In the future we'll all be gay
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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