Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
