we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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