i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Someone came in the potted fern
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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