Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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