Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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