out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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