we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
