im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
