She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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