Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
