problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
