i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
