can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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