I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
When are your genitals available?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
