My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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