He disabled his match.com account in front of me
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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