You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
