I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
