I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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