My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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