it's great music for shaving your balls
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
