My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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