Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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