nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
