I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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