alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
