WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
