Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
