i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
