No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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