Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
