youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
