i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
