How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
