Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i've created a new STD.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Dear god my vagina.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
